


Sometime

by minnesotamemelord



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Cemetery, Chess, Death, Depression, F/F, F/M, Gay Marvin (Falsettos), Good Parent Whizzer Brown, HIV/AIDS, M/M, POV Marvin (Falsettos), Post-Whizzer Brown's Death, The Author Regrets Nothing, Whizzer Brown & Jason Friendship, Whizzer Brown Deserves Better, this is legitimately the most depressing thing I've ever written and that's saying something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 00:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16733541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minnesotamemelord/pseuds/minnesotamemelord
Summary: Marvin visits Whizzer's grave for the first time since the funeral.





	Sometime

A biting wind chilled all the way through Marvin's bones, his whole body shuddering in the cold. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself with his free hand and squinted into the sun, searching the rows and rows of gray dots. Trina's directions were vague, but then again, he had asked his ex-wife for direction's to his ex-ex-lover's grave. He reached out to steady himself against a tree and coughed roughly. _Under the evergreen tree,_ Trina had said. Thankfully, there were only a few evergreen trees in the vast cemetery, but they were all across a long, hilly path that stretched out before him. Marvin started his long walk, glancing around. There were almost no other people. It was a chilly spring day, just late enough that all the snow had melted but not so that it was warm outside. Marvin's favorite kind of weather. Whizzer's least favorite. Whizzer liked summer, because it meant that he could sit on the balcony of their apartment and watch the scantily-clad men run through Central Park below. Marvin had used to be one of those men. Now, he doubted that he'd be able to.

Thankfully, the walk took a much shorter time than Marvin had expected, and the gravestone he was looking for hadn't taken long to find. To Trina's credit, it was right under the evergreen tree. The epitaph was brief, just a few words.

 

WHIZZER J. BROWN

1939-1981

WENT OUT WITHOUT CARE, HIS HEAD HELD HIGH

FRIEND, LOVER, FATHER

 

It had been Jason's suggestion to add 'father' on. He had reasoned that if Whizzer was named as his father at his bar mitzvah, he should be his father even after death. Marvin rolled his eyes.

"Um...hi. Whizzer. Jesus Christ, this is ridiculous. Charlotte said it would be good for me to come here, but, I have to be honest, this is the dumbest I have ever felt in my life." He changed his voice to a mocking version of Whizzer's.

"Really? That's saying something, Marv."

"Thanks, Whizzer. You always were good at making me feel better." With a groan, Marvin lowered himself to the ground and chuckled. "It's kind of stupid to say this, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things. I'm sorry for being an asshole when we were dating the first time, and for kicking you out because I _let you win at chess._ I always knew I was petty, but that's actually insane. And I'm sorry for hitting on you at Jason's baseball game, although it did lead to us getting back together, so I don't really regret that. I'm also sorry for that." He gestured at the gravestone in front of him. "I assume your real name isn't Whizzer, but you never told me what it was, and you never talked about your parents, so I just went with what I knew. Sorry." He opened the bag he had brought with him and pulled out an object, one that had brought them joy and pain and excitement and anger. The red and black squares of the chessboard were even brighter under the warm golden sun, and the ceramic pieces were cold in Marvin's already freezing hands. He set up the pieces, and as he did it, he talked.

"Jason comes every week, you know. I'm sure you do. Wherever you are, up there or down there or floating around in some eternal void or something, you see him. And every week, he brings this, and he plays. He has to move your pieces for you, but I'm sure you're telling him what to do. And I'm sure you let him win. So, I thought I might see if there's anything to it." As he placed the final piece, Marvin nodded. "Move a pawn, baby." Of course, there was no movement. He paused for a moment, listening. "C7 to C5, you say? Of course." He moved the piece. "You might not have been able to beat me at chess, unless I let you win, but you always kicked my ass at racquetball. I only beat you once, and that was because you were, you know, dying." He laughed, then, both spitefully and genuinely. His whole body shook with laughter, which then turned into coughing, racking his whole body. "Let's see, what else happened...Jason's doing well in baseball. I really think having you back made him better. He couldn't come to me or Mendel for advice, because I was far too queer for sports, and Mendel is the least athletic person alive today. And it wasn't just helpful, but when you took him out to the batting cages, or to play catch, you were the father I could never be. In some ways, you were a million times the dad I could ever be." Marvin looked down at the board. Whizzer's ghost was kicking his ass. "Shit. This is not going well for me."

"Well, of course it isn't, Marv, I'm dead." Marvin could perfectly mimic Whizzer's mocking tone.

"Thanks, Whiz. You know, I actually did have one last thing to tell you. You asked me about a million times why I hated that Trina and Mendel got married. And I answered with some bullshit about doctor-patient confidentiality being broken or whatever. That, as I said, was bullshit. I said that because you always told me you didn't want the whole 'til death do we two part' thing. Besides, we couldn't actually get married, and us dating was literally illegal for such a long time...look, Whiz, what I'm trying to say is...I did want the 'til death do we two part'. Because I loved you. I love you. And...here." Marvin dug around in his jacket pocket and finally found what he was looking for. "This is a stupid thing to do, but what the hell. I love you, Whizzer Brown. And if I could, if you were still here and the government didn't hate us, I'd ask you to marry me." He flicked open the velvet box in his hand and pulled out a tiny piece of glittering metal. It was nothing showy, just a little piece of silver and a tiny, although relatively expensive, diamond.

"I bought this a month before you died. I guess God has a funny sense of humor, huh?" Marvin struggled to his feet, coughing uproariously. He wavered, but managed to steady himself against the stone. He placed the ring gently on top of the headstone and grinned thinly. "I'll see you soon, huh? Until then, Whizzer." Marvin bent at the waist, his breathing shaky and strained. He pressed his lips to the top of the gray-blue stone, cold and icy. With some difficulty, he heaved himself upright and began to walk back the other way.

Then the scene turned to white.


End file.
